My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys

the urge to destroy what you love

Last week, I published a short story called BOYTOY in Angel Food Magazine. You should read it 🙂

Broken Toys, Sandro Nocetini (2014).

The creation of this story was different from any other work of fiction I have published. It moved from the page to performance and then back to the page before I even had a name for it. I had been working (and am still working) on a longer-length project and was asked to read at reading a couple of months ago in Brooklyn. I scanned the manuscript to select the fragments that would be exciting for a crowd, and that were the most visceral, and pieced together an entirely different story. Later, when an editor from the audience unexpectedly asked to publish what I read, I added additional context and scenes; the result was BOYTOY. 

Without saying too much, BOYTOY is about toxic obsession and the urge to destroy what you love. Although the drafting of this project started long before OJ Simpson’s death earlier this year, I found myself eager to explore if love could exist amoung hatred and if hatred could intensify the feeling of love. Scenes from Anatomy of a Fall served as inspiration. This Wendy Williams clip did too.

I think a lot about the shape of a piece when I am writing. If the story is calling for a sense of symmetry. As BOYTOY centers on two individuals in a relationship, I obsessed over the plot’s duality. The story is peppered with mirroring – two boys, two dream/sleep sequences that bookend the narrative, two dining scenes, two different depictions of careers, two sex scenes, and two arguments with different ‘resolutions.’ There are some stories where balance doesn’t matter – this isn’t one of them.  

As absurd as some of the plot points can be, I have been surprised by the response to the story's realism. How some readers have told me that they see versions of themselves in Teddy and Wyatt. I have written about toxic desire before, and the limits of it – referencing Tom and Shiv and the siblings in Succession and Caroline Polachek’s most recent album. Perhaps this is another entry into that exploration. 

The Chase

I have been writing this newsletter for over a year and this is my first time sharing fiction on LOOSEY. I hope you find it interesting and let me know what you think. Above all, share the story with someone you love and/or hate ;)

Until next time,

Brendon

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