22 Comments
User's avatar
Darren Harper's avatar

Great essay on two of my favorite films of the year. I think the best of art helps us to investigate ourselves, and your essay definitely helped to open up a further internal conversation on these works.

And for the record, I don’t think there is any way to truly be in love without being willing to give up some level of control or “rightness?”

Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

thanks for reading darren. to your second point on relinquishing control, yes, i think this is what they mean when they say you fall in love when you aren’t looking for it :)

Expand full comment
Michael Steigman's avatar

“You can’t gamify your way into happiness” - I keep seeing this repeated in different lenses. I just read a piece about the “gigification” of relationships reflected in popular media. It feels like a response to curation and keeping up appearances in an increasingly isolating world. Really interesting analysis.

Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

Thanks Michael! Please send the piece, I’d love to read

Expand full comment
ekaynuh's avatar

I’m not a part of Nicolandria nation, but I do think this argument of being happier if you were stupid could apply hear. Obviously we do not know everything in the villa, but it is obvious that Nic and Olandria have far more chemistry than Olandria and Taylor. But logically, on paper, Taylor is what Olandria wants. Her whole energy in the villa seems to be that she is loving with her head. However, her natural chemistry with Nic is clear, even if it makes no sense, and a perfect one to explore in a temporary environment like the villa. It’s stupid, and the relationship would probably have no longevity out in the real world, but there is something there, a connection, that I wish was explored even if it is nonsensical

Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

Yes yes yes. You’re spot on. I originally had a paragraph about how Olandria thinks with her head while Amaya moves with her heart and is better for it. Amaya is lowkey the most emotional mature person in the house and moves on from men when they don’t give her the respect she needs. Olandria on the other hand overthinks herself into inaction, convincing herself that Taylor likes her when he doesn’t with her “he know where home is” mental gymnastics.

Expand full comment
ekaynuh's avatar

For as much shit as this season got , and it is well deserved because it has been a mess, I think putting this mess out in 4K is good because it has so many examples of what not to do and even caused me to reflect on the way I see myself in these characters and how that may not be the best thing lol

Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

Right? I feel like it’s lowkey giving us powerful lessons lol. Do you think we are getting movie night? Also what do you think they are gonna do about Cierra…

Expand full comment
ekaynuh's avatar

After the stand on business challenge I genuinely worry for the players psyche so I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t do it this season. By now we should have had a meet the family episode but none of the couple are serious enough to warrant that…

Re: Cierra I think it’s too late in the season to pull her out and it doesn’t seem like she’s going to win it, so I think production will keep her for the remaining week left

Expand full comment
ekaynuh's avatar

Yessss! 100% agree. They are both great example of your point and exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. Amayas journey is also just more fun to watch and is more dynamic where as Olandria seems a bit more calculated and guarded. And that’s no shade to Olandria, I’ve been there before. But after being burned so many times, an Amaya like approach in being open hearted but firm on boundaries is the move.

As an avid love island watcher, it seems like the casted a lot of influencers or aspiring influencers this season who were far too aware of their perception. Bella-A, Amaya, and Jalen were the only “normal” ones this season and were rewarded for it when it comes to opportunities outside the villa. The bag that waits for Amaya is going to be crazy which is the ironic twist for those who entered the game trying to obtain the same thing but failed to deliver in authenticity.

Expand full comment
Ira Madison III's avatar

She was running around talking about the POWER OF LOVE and had me feeling like the Black Eyed Peas… WHERE is the love???

Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂

Expand full comment
11am Saturday's avatar

Loved this. Locked in to watch Nicolandria be a little stupid.

Expand full comment
Tyler Burgese's avatar

stupid summer 2025!!!

Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

dumb girl summa

Expand full comment
suchaeta's avatar

To your point around materialists/past lives: I agree, it feels like Celine Song has been taking a “never meet your heros” approach to romance in both movies. She seems to consistently present that what you always wanted is never as magical as what you discarded along the way.

(can’t say yet whether this is a truth of life or if I’m just particularly susceptible to nostalgia)

Expand full comment
mary's avatar

this dilemma is so familiar to me, it’s almost like a cute pet i’ve kept for years. i once read a book about the temperance card in tarot, and the wise convinced me that this balance between opposites will never leave us. and more: it’s precisely the movement between holding on and letting go, thinking and relaxing, that makes us alive and human. Thanks from Rio.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jul 15
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

Smart observation! The original Love Island paragraph in this essay was actually contrasting Amaya vs Olandria, how Amaya’s open-ended approach has actually rendered her more emotionally intelligent and open to love than Olandria’s overburden reasoning. But, the show was changing so quickly episode to episode and I didn’t want to “pit two queens against each other,” so I elevated it to a broader theme lol. I think there’s a lot to learn from Amaya. She embraces her inner child and doesn’t spend time convincing someone who doesn’t like her to like her, whereas Olandria was very rational but I think sometimes used that reason to keep herself from being as happy as she could she’s been. Were you happy with the winner?

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jul 15
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

Hahahaa no because I love Pepe!

Expand full comment
Brendon Holder's avatar

Yeah, I loved the lore of Nicolandria but Nic is not a viable option for her haha. He’s just trying to be an influencer which… many of them are but I don’t think Olandria would feel like her needs were met with him. I think she liked Taylor on paper (“I love my cowboy”) and let that be enough evidence to hold onto something that wasn’t there at all.

This was the first time I watched Love Island USA!

Expand full comment